Gitmo

Tell me it ain’t so. Tell me it’s my imagination. Will we finally see the end of Gitmo? Who would’ve guessed this to be one of the first edicts broadcast from the new administration? (When you stop and think about it there’s a real possibility we’d seen the same even if the election had turned out different. Especially in light of the opposing candidate’s Hanoi-Hilton history.) At any rate, while perhaps not popular with all, this action is long overdue.

Does anyone remember the slew of charges concerning detainee neglect, even torture, at Gitmo? And don’t forget the shady government contractors and their ride’em cowboy tactics. And the scandalous photos. Did I mention the scandalous photos? Yes, those scandalous photos. Those twisted, contorted, anatomically-incorrect scandalous photos. If the same charges solidified by the same ugly evidence came to light concerning any other world power, even one of our allies, we’d holler from the rooftops for immediate closure of any facility that bred such shameful fruit. It hurts to think that such corrupt and ugly acts were wrought by us noble Americans. Shame on us. And forget the ‘all’s fair in love and war’ cliche. First, it’s an immoral cliche, and second it’s just that, a cliche. No one really believes it anyway.

So, what to do with the fallout, all those jailed detainees? Truth is, it’s a case-by-case basis. If any real evidence exists that these men are guilty of terrorism (and much of it does exist) then they should be formally charged and tried.  But if they’re residents at Gitmo merely because of where they lived, what they believe, or who they know then they should be released at once.
But I’ve got another idea. Each and every detainee, I believe, should be sentenced to one solid year of life as an average American.

First, each detainee will be given a job — of sorts.  Under my plan, the detainee’s job will be to tag along to work, on a daily basis, with an average American who holds a job they love and do well.  The detainee will experience it all:  the daily-grind commute, the office politics, the endless slew of useless emails. It’s a package deal.

Second, each detainee will be assigned to a family, a loving family of three or more. For a year, they will live with the family, and live life as the family lives it.  The house/apartment, the bills, the car, the kids, and the lawnmower. Again, it’s a package deal.

Third, and here is perhaps the most important part: Each detainee, in their ‘spare’ time will be force-fed a continuous diet of Americana; things like:

– A walk in a park with a few snotty-nosed kids and the family dog.
– An intense session of Spore.
– A ride on a Harley
– A middle-school talent show
– An 8-hour marathon of the Three Stooges
– Barbecue & Homemade ice cream
– 12 back-to-back showings of “Dumb & Dumber”
– A big, fat American wedding
– 12 back-to-back showings of “It’s a Wonderful Life”
– A bar mitzvah
– An eight-hour stint as Greeter at Wal Mart
– Last, but definitely not least, four hours in a ticket line at a major American airport followed by ten, yes, ten back-to-back trips through Security

Perhaps then these individuals will see that there really is nothing to fear from us, there really is no reason to hate us or our way of life.  They’ll see that all of us, for the most part, are merely trying to get through another day, mind, body and soul intact. Perhaps this sort of sentence will allow these men to enter into the heart of the American way of life. Perhaps they’ll see the magic, the defining moments that we Americans call Life.  Those moments through which the rivers run.

Something tells me, though, that it’s not quite that simple. It just aint that quaint. As Jack Nicholoson’s Nathan Jessep so aptly says in “A Few Good Men” “You want me on that wall, you need me on that wall.” And we do. We want to be protected from evil. We deserve to be protected from evil. But let’s not become a nation of Nathan Jesseps in the process of it. I mean, what Jessep said is right — we do need him on that wall. But, what Jessep was is wrong. So please, let’s not become a nation of Nathan Jesseps. What kind of existence is that?

Rare Book Room

If you were stranded on an island and could have only one website ‘with you’ this might be the one to have. This is a cool wicked site. Some of the authors included are: Einstein, Kepler, Galileo, Shakespeare, Newton Copernicus and Euclid. Per the homepage description:

“Over the last decade, a company called “Octavo” digitally photographed some of the world ’s great books from some of the greatest libraries. These books were photographed at very high resolution (in some cases at over 200 megabytes per page).

This site contains all of the books (about 400) that have been digitized to date. These range over a wide variety of topics and rarity. The books are presented so that the viewer can examine all the pages in medium to medium-high resolution.”